Hey you, women's magazine reporter, who claims that I can keep my relationship fun and exciting with ten simple tips. Hey you, editorialist of that quality news paper, with your stereotypical stories of life as it allegedly is. And hey you, writer of that bestselling self-help book who claims that getting up early will make me overjoyed and loaded.
I don't believe you.
I want real stories about life. About ups and downs. About yes and then no again. About things that help, and things that sometimes help and things that helped at first and then not anymore.
Don't oversimplify it, because it isn't simple. And show me everything: your powerful side and your small one.
I want people to look up to, who are excellent in a lot of things, and very bad in a lot of other things. I don't want clickbait articles with ten tips and five easy steps. I don't want self help books filled with shortcuts that will transform me in an instant. I don't want slick entrepreneurs teaching me how I can finally have the life (meaning: the money) that I deserve.
But I dó want to know who can teach me, and with whom I can feel at home. So please, you, honest, authentic and much to modest lifequester: show me what you have to offer. Tell me your story, sell me your service. Because it's you I want, Miss Unpolished Fellow-Seeker.
The politician and the priest, they are false. Both their smiling face at the front door and their grim unreliable mug at the back door are fake*. Their humanity is in between, and we are not allowed to see it. They leave it to us to humiliate ourselves. We put ourselves down, because we don't manage to transform after reading that one book, following this one diet and taking another 30 day challenge. I am lazy, I lack character, I am the one exception who can't throw life around with those five simple steps.
But, sadly maybe, that's not how it works. Taking a training, reading a book, getting three sessions of career counseling: it is not enough for a better life. Like a month of dieting is not enough to stay slim forever.
You have to keep at it. It is a process to embark on, not a product you can buy or sell.
You have to show up for it, each new day. Because we keep collecting mental rubbish, just like material stuff automatically collects on the cupboard in the hallway and on the kitchen counter. We will always have new beliefs to confront, inconvenient patterns to handle and forceful emotions to feel. There will always be feelings, thoughts and situations to digest.
That's why I share my inside story. That's why I show my struggle ánd my effortlessness: because they are both real. And because I am not alone. I am not the only one feeling something and not the only one working through something. In all my unique humanness I am absolutely not unique. That is why I write raw stories, because you tell me: "I feel that too", "That piece was about me." and "I recognize that so much."
What I share is the report from my wilderness, and, fortunately, the report of my walk on the beach too.
And believe me, it dóes get better and easier. The more I face my wild animals, the stronger I become. The more I write my morning pages, the more I meditate, the more I unravel my patterns and thoughts, the better I become in this humanness. But that heightened resilience, that stability and this better-fitting life: it only exists by virtue of training. Like the retired sportsman loosing his muscle strength.
And please, don't believe me. Try it out yourself, taste it, nibble on it. We both aren't the average people from the latest scientific research, and I don't know what fits you, what you think and what you need. I can only write about myself, since I never knew anyone that well.
Someone has to do it. We should all do it. Polishing less and showing each other what life is really like. With its yippie's and alas'es. With its passes and fails. With therefore and on the other hand and therefore again. Without make up, in our sleeping gown. Because we are always unfinished, and always just traveling. And how blissful is that!
*Osho, from Osho's Zen Tarot, clever as ever.